You just made me feel so damn special
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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