don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
