You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
