you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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