i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
farters have to be the big spoon...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
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No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
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You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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