Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
