Do you still have your period?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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