Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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