would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
