Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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