ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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