No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
