dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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