Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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