For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
