he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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