out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
