Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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