i just had sex bonerless
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
