is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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