Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
