Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
