he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
