I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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