You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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