Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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