Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
