the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
