Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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