Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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