Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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