i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
