I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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