dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
