his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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