sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
