Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
