he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Found the puke drawer
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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