Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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