Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
what day is it and did you see me today?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
