i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize