Do vagina's smell?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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