I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
