I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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