Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
