so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
