I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Found the puke drawer
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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