Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
