He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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