I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
No subtext here. People are naked.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
