dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
