Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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