Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I need to align my fucking chakras
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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