i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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