I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
