talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
