you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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