no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
