dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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