I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
