How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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